Kyndell Brown | Living a Life My Father Would be Proud of

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My Journey to #AchieveMore

My senior year of highschool was going as every senior dreamed. Until second semester when my father fell ill. My mother, two sister's, and myself, drove over twenty hours from Dayton, Ohio to Fortworth, Texas where my father was hospitalized. Seeing him in his state was unbearable. There were moments where he was emotional over seeing all of us. Then there were times where he would not recognize us at all. I recall times where my father thought me and my sisters were just his nurses. He confided in us thinking we were strangers. He would say how upset he was that his family hadn't come to see him, genuinely not knowing we were there the whole time. He spent weeks in the ICU where he was being fed, bathed, and hooked up to a breathing tube. Although my father was in this state, the doctor assured us everything would be okay as they had found the cause and were ready to treat it. As my fathers health slowly became more stable, his sisters in Texas drove him to Cincinnati, Ohio so that he could be closer to us. At the time, I attendend the University of Cincinnati which allowed me to spend a great amount of time with him. I spent many nights in his room and preparing him for all the things we were going to do together once he was able to walk again. I was fufilled with joy knowing that although he couldn't be there for my high school graduation, he would be there for my college graduation. I specifically remember telling others about my father's illness but I never failed to reassure them that he was getting better and "wasn't going to die." All of a sudden my fathers health began declining. He developed infected bed sores on his feet due to neglect from the employees at his facility. This led to my father being faced with the choice of amputating his leg or letting the infection take over his body and ultimately kill him. It took me so long to understand why my father chose to die. I was so angry, hurt, and scared. In a family of all females, he swore to always protect us and I never doubted that for a second. Would I even be able to stand living without my dad? Then I realized, my father would be in more pain being bed ridden than he would be watching over us from afar. My dad loved life and always got the most out of it; and that's what he taught me to do. Ever since, I have focused on making memories that my dad would love to be making. I miss my dad every single second of every single day. However, feeling happiness makes me feel closer to him because he has always been there in my happiest times and I know he always will be.

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